(The worlds strongest men move airplanes.)

Exercise no longer serves any concrete purpose. This was not always the case. Running was at one point a valuable method of travel -- point A to point B. People did not run around in circles, or further yet, in place. Marathon did not always refer to 20,000 spandex clad individuals center stage in a concrete metropolis, but things have long changed. Technology hijacked natural evolution. For our world to operate, engines and machines must run, not people. The more physically exhausting labor we can rid our race of, the greater our levels of quality of life and leisure time. Welcome to America.

Yet something peculiar exists within this simplified representation of evolution and society. With virtually no reason for the common man to be concerned with human strength, speed, or stamina (remember our survival does not depend upon it) we have somehow become obsessed, $14 billion a year obsessed, with obtaining and increasing these traits. My aim here is not to Sherlock Holmes our way into understanding WHY, this is a question of examining how the past led to the present, and I would rather discuss HOW the present can be altered to create a different future. Welcome to The Practical Exercise Manifesto.

Destinations dictate actions and justify motivations. By manifesting our abstract habits into concrete results, destinations provide understanding for the confused and location for the lost. The majority of people who exercise are destination driven. Flat abs by summer, x inch biceps, a five minute mile, three sizes smaller, numbers here and spreadsheets there. Even the exercise for exerciser's sake worker-outers partake in repetitive physical motions for hours on end with some kind of goal in mind. Be it physical, mental or both. For an improved sense of self esteem often accompanies the sweat soaked gym goer heading for the showers. And hey, what is wrong with looking good and feeling good? America's problems with obesity and depression both border epidemic. But so do our problems of sterilization and waste.

Gym design follows the principles of expectancy and repetition, thus producing acts of complacency and thoughtlessness. Illustration: I walk into a gym and bench press 150 pounds. Unimpressive. All 100 pounds of metal that I lifted with my muscles, has already been lifted- numerous times- for that is the sole purpose of those weights- to be raised and lowered. Boring for the bench press sure, but what about us? We do what the machine asks of us and somehow feel good about it? Is there true accomplishment in fulfilling such a prediction? How does satisfaction follow these programmed operations? Why ask questions when I can lift more weights? For me the gym is aimless; a product-less producer, an engine running idle, machines (gym goers) operating other machines (fitness equipment) to move nothing anywhere and everything nowhere. Emotions and thoughts have no place in the gym, for these are characteristics of human beings.

Outside these settings, similar feats of strength and fitness can actually be useful and impressive. Climbing 40 flights of stairs (one stairmaster session) to the top floor of a skyscraper gives a deeper understanding as to the true size of the building by bypassing the 30 second elevator ride. Running 2 miles to and from work each day (one treadmill session) eliminates the price of commuting, and provides a fresh perspective on the pedestrian/automobile landscape. Helping friends move their belongings from one apartment to another (free weights) is an act of courtesy, and a social event.

Further ways of using fitness to expand our experiences, provide new perspectives, save money, and do something practical are attainable in the actions that gym equipment attempts to duplicate. The bike machine. The row machine. The punching bag. The swimming pool. Practical exercise is about ridding our world of insulting and inhibiting substitutes. What kind of experience is riding an exercise bike compared to a real one outside? Which one will be more meaningful, or better yet memorable? We need memories. We need real rowboats that travel across the water. People that can swim against tides. Stairs that go up! We also might as well start punching each other instead of inanimate objects as a rough wake up call to the real effects the gyms are having; The creation of disconnected environments and pampered prissies. They do not make us stronger but weaker. Get in better shape, get out of the gym.